ABOUT THE AUTHOR
My partner collapsed without warning and was gone for 34 minutes. After his resuscitation and a week in a coma, he woke up not knowing who I was. In an instant, I became a 24/7 caregiver, advocate, medical translator, and decision-maker—all while grieving the life I lost and loving the person who returned.
The hospital sent us home with a stack of pamphlets and prayers. Here’s what I actually needed.
You can’t pour from an empty cup…but you can bet caregivers will be the ones trying to figure out how.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. That means if you click and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend things I actually use or genuinely believe are helpful.
The Emotional Survival Kit (less cute than it sounds)
- Noise-cancelling headphones:
For when you love someone but need to not hear them screaming obscenities at their football team every thirty-five seconds - A journal you’ll actually use:
In my case, I use it for rage, not gratitude. For the things I can’t say out loud. - Therapist contact info:
BetterHelp, local support group, whatever. Just have the number handy before you need it at 2am. - One thing that’s yours. Just YOURS. Me? My weighted blanket. Hands off…no one can touch it. Or even look at it.
You’re not being selfish. You’re preventing a breakdown that helps nobody.
The Medical Station (aka The Pharmacy of Unpaid Labor)
- Rolling cart: This cart will become more important to you than the coffee maker. Actually, put the coffee maker ON the cart.
- Rubber gloves: “The Barrier of Love”. If you listen to nothing else I tell you, please listen to this: for the love of your sanity, stock up on the high-quality ones. Gloves are the only thing standing between you and some deep-seated resentment.
- Adult briefs: ‘Sharing everything’ in a marriage really should have had a fine-print section for times like this.
- Wound care supplies: Because ‘winging it’ is a lot more stressful when the ‘it’ involves a leaking incision and a roll of Amazon-brand paper tape.
- Bonus: Put a tip jar next to the gloves. You won’t get any money, but it’s a great place to store all the unsolicited advice from relatives
This isn’t everything. But it’s a start. CaregiverUnpaid.com is here because I needed it three years ago and it didn’t exist. You’ve got this. (You don’t, but we’ll figure it out together.)